Friday, December 31, 2004

Family Values

Family values - What exactly does that worn out phrase mean? For many it has become the rallying cry for the radical right, articulating with religious fervor a stance that says "we have the answer, so believe the way we do, because if you don't, the family as we know it is doomed!"

Unfortunately for me, I don't believe the junk that these groups spew out on their websites. By their analysis my family and its values is bound for purgatory . . .

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In the last few days since my Dad became ill, I have discovered what a wonderful extended family I have. Even though we live in different parts of the country, distance and time has had little power over the bonds that have tied us together. All it has taken is a telephone call, and the love that has been there all along has been quickly rekindled. Their love has been a great support for me and my brothers, chasing away some of the fear and loneliness that have been lurking in the shadows.

I've learned something else as well. While the first and most important "family value" is love, and that's so much part of our lives right now, the second, and this is real important, is responsibility. That one's a two-way street. Not only do I have the responsibility to respond to my family with love when needed, I should stay in touch during the easy, good times, be with them, let them know I am alive, tell them I care, make them feel appreciated, be there for them. I shouldn't have waited to call them until my father is dying. Just think of all the love I was missing.

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